Mary Callahan was on Talk of the Nation yesterday talking about her article in the LA Times questioning paying foster parents.
You can read her article here. Her conclusion is that we ought to focus more on taking care of the birth families and when foster parents are needed the fact that they are paid ought to be made known. She ends by saying the children should know them from the very beginning “not as foster parents but as paid parents.”
My initial thoughts on this is that her experience is probably unique. The majority of foster parents I know and hear about are willing to make sacrifices and at the same time happen to be helped by the relatively small amount that they are paid. I can’t see how calling them “paid parents” is productive and helpful in any sense. I also really wonder what percentage of foster parents do it for the money; given the money isn’t much and the sacrifice in terms of what you will be called to give is great. I know there are bad apples who take advantage of the system. You’ll find that anywhere. I think the author ends up throwing the baby out with the bath water with her conclusion.
When Shawnda and I went through foster care training the majority of couples in our class were lower-middle income families. The common characteristic was a simple love for children and a desire to help despite the sacrifice. A little pay, any pay, was a bonus.
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She seems confused about some things. The “pay” is not supposed to be income. It’s a stipend. It’s not taxable. It’s supposed to be used for the children - not for new cars and shoes.
I think she’s right that foster kids - at an appropriate age - should probably know that their foster parents receive a stipend. But not in the “Okay, okay - I get ‘paid’ to love you” sense.
The foster kids should know the state is providing the parents a means to provide for them. They should feel free to ask to join clubs or take piano lessons or (ahem) get new shoes.
I think telling them “we get paid” is a bad idea becuase it’s not true - or it shouldn’t be. If a foster parent looks at their stipend as personal income, I think that’s a real issue. I know for a fact that more foster parents than would admit it operate this way.
Posted 23 Oct 2007 at 8:42 pm ¶I agree with Matt. I don’t know if you used “bonus” in a way that clearly communicated our hearts : ). I don’t think it’s a “bonus” of fostering. It’s merely a helpful means to provide needs for the foster children. And, of course, at age appropriate, the foster children can know that there is a stipend there for them! When they are old enough to understand $ - then they are old enough to understand needs. So, they can work with you to decide where that stipend would be best used to their benefit (ie, clubs, sports, piano lessons, new shoes, clothes…whatever). The fact is that most children in foster care come with what is on their backs. So, a few trips to get some clothes is NOT uncommon! It’s like buying a new wardrobe for a child….and those clothes go with them if the child is reunited with their birth family (or adopted by another family OR adopted by their foster parents).
One family in our class shared how they always got “special” items for their foster children. They got all new bedding that each foster child got to pick out and toys that were “theirs”, along with clothes and other necessities. All these things went with the children at reunification or adoption because the foster family used the stipend.
However, the family also had their own toys, emergency clothing, ect that they used their own $ for. And these things stayed in their home.
They intentionally used the $ specifically to bless their foster children with things they needed and things that they felt would bless them. Granted, each family will have different views on how the $ should be spent on their foster children (which is a GREAT thing to talk through BEFORE you have foster children), but the point is that the stipend IS for the children!!! And like Matt said, sounds like this lady is considering this $ as an income - and that’s a misrepresentation of the stipend. And, of COURSE, there are families that do foster care for the $ - they address this in class too. And I think that also becomes obvious over time….and those families should be asked to leave the foster care program….immediately!
Posted 24 Oct 2007 at 2:32 pm ¶OK, I’ll show my ignorance here…I had no idea that foster parents received a stipend.
Posted 24 Oct 2007 at 4:06 pm ¶I do think foster parents should be compensated more than what most states are willing to pay. I have never understood why the state will pay far more for foster children to be cared for in a licensed daycare setting eight to ten hours a day while the foster parent works, while they pay much less to the licensed foster parent for care that is ongoing twenty-four-seven. There seems to be a pervasive lack of respect for the work that foster parents do, and I believe that is one reason there are not enough foster homes, and the retention rate is very low. The whole system needs an overhaul so the families that want to help the kids have the tools and support they need to do the best job they can do. As was stated before, most foster parents are not wealthy people and truly do need the monthly support to be able to afford to invite another child into their home and family, and give them the the extracurricular activities and many other costs that are a daily reality in the life of a child.
Posted 26 Oct 2007 at 6:45 pm ¶Post a Comment