This is a good word from Ken Sande of Peacemaker Ministries:
It is often not what we want that is the problem, but that we want it too much. For example, it is not unreasonable for a man to want a passionate sexual relationship with his wife or for a mother to want to stay at home with a newborn baby. Nor is it wrong for an employer to want diligent workers or for a pastor to desire respect from his deacons. These are good desires, but if they turn into demands that must be met in order for us to be satisfied and fulfilled, they can lead to bitterness, resentment, or self-pity that can destroy a family, business, or church.
How can you discern when a good desire might be turning into a sinful demand? You can begin by prayerfully asking yourself “X-ray” questions that reveal the true condition of your heart.
- What am I preoccupied with? What is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night?
- How would I answer the question: “If only ______, then I would be happy, fulfilled, and secure”?
- What do I want to preserve or to avoid at all costs?
- Where do I put my trust?
- What do I fear?
- When a certain desire is not met, do I feel frustration, anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, or depression?
- Is there something I desire so much that I am willing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?
From The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 104-10
Comments 3
my copy actually came in the mail yesterday. Look forward to reading it. Do you know if the study guide is worth getting?
Posted 10 May 2007 at 9:17 am ¶Nice. I didn’t even know there was a study guide. But I would say it is worth it.
Posted 10 May 2007 at 3:21 pm ¶These thoughts have been on my mind a lot recently with my school decision coming next week (UBC) - dealing with acceptance or rejection - keep me in your prayers!
Posted 11 May 2007 at 12:58 am ¶Post a Comment